My Perspective of Family Story

In my last post (Why Write (another) Blog), I referenced my ongoing battle with Impostor Syndrome. According to Wikipedia, the definition of Impostor Syndrome is... the inability of an individual to internalize his or her accomplishments, despite evidence of competence. It is accompanied by a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. Proof of success is often dismissed as pure luck or some other outside factor.

Impostor Syndrome (whom I call Delilah) has remained a close "friend" for several decades. In high school, she told me I was not a real musician. Even though I maintained the first-chair flute position, it was not because of talent but luck. I became so nervous during auditions, I would hyperventilate.  

When I maintained the My Cozy Book Nook blog for nearly five years, she never considered me a real book reviewer. After all, I never took a college literature class. How could I possibly know what I was talking about?

Even though I taught high school English for over a decade, she insists I add the caveat, "it was for a small private school." In other words, I'm not a real teacher. I don't have the certificate to prove I'm good enough.

And while I have written five books in the past four years, she quickly discounts me as a writer because I self-publish. Real authors secure book deals with one of the major five publishers (and she might add, appear on the New York Times bestseller list).

So what does this have to do with Family Story Matters?

Delilah tells me I can't blog about writing memoir because I lack the credentials. Plenty of blogs already exist that do a much better job than I could ... with real authors who have far more expertise. 

She also tells me that I can't blog about genealogy because I lack experience. I dabbled with Ancestry.com in 2015, but I did not fully commit to family history research until 2018. What do I know about legitimate documentation or breaking through brick walls?

And I don't rigidly subscribe to the Genealogy Proof Standard (gasp!)

But here's the thing, Delilah ... I'm not claiming to be an expert.

My perspective of writing the family story has far more to do with leaving a legacy than it does with writing the next bestseller. And while the story will always be rooted in truth, I don't feel obliged to footnote each fact.

Don't get me wrong.

I believe in a job well done. I want to write the most compelling narrative I can because I want the story to captivate the reader. But my audience is my family. They are not focused on the prose, but rather, the personal connection.

I want to thoroughly research family members and give an accurate account of their lives - as best I know it. I also want to enrich those facts with a social history context so I can bring their character to life on the page. But nothing will turn off my audience like a series of footnotes.

For my purposes, Genealogy is a tool to help me write the story, not the end result.

So here's the thing, Delilah ... I am starting this blog because I love to write, I love research, I love puzzling the pieces of data together and discovering the hidden story.

I do not claim to be an expert but I don't think that excludes me from the conversation. I want to share my findings with others and be a part of this community.

And that, I believe, is enough. 

So I ask you, dear reader, how do you see the role of genealogy in writing your family story?

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P.S. ... Several years ago, I wrote a series of 31 Positive Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome. I will include the link here if you think you might benefit from reading them as well.